He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
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The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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