he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
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Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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