puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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