i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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