Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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