Sry I called you an 8
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize