mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
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defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
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He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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