two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
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You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
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Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize