My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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