Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize