life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize