my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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