My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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