White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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