I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize