So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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