just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize