So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
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Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
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I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think my moral compass just broke
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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