your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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