The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
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Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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