I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize