Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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