im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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