So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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