I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize