Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize