I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
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I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
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She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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