Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
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I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
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Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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