Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Drake has all the answers
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize