She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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