Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize