He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize