a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
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Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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