I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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