One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
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OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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