So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize