walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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