Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize