im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize