I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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