I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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