i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
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Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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