You're completely useless in the revolution.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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