For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
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She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
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I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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