Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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