my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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