Only a mothe r could love this liver
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize