peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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