Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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