when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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